Trevor
Trevor's story of his wife Christine, diagnosed with pancreatic
cancer in 2009
My wife Christine
collapsed just two weeks after her 59th birthday. Two weeks later
she was diagnosed with inoperable pancreatic cancer and was given
less than six months to live. We had been married 41 years. I
retired immediately to look after Chris & became her full time
carer.
We decided that in order to survive this tragedy we needed help.
Three days after her diagnosis I sent an email to friends, family
& business contacts informing them of our sad news. We received
so many messages of love and support, support that continued right
up to Chris's passing twelve months to the day that she collapsed,
that helped turn our personal tragedy into a life affirming and
inspirational journey.
This support continued and sustained us throughout the year. I
believe it was critical in helping provide Chris with inspiration
to live for a full year, much longer than was originally
diagnosed.
The effects of pancreatic cancer were immediate. Chris was so
weak that she was unable to continue her normal household chores.
She could only walk a few hundred yards before becoming tired. She
had to take strong pain killers, which made her drowsy & a
little confused. We resolved the painkiller situation in the first
couple of months, and for the rest of the year she took minimal
drugs and kept fully alert throughout her illness.
But as both the person who loved her & her carer there were
two actions that ensured Chris's final year was both enjoyable and
fulfilling. Firstly, our act of asking for help from our friends
etc. This support, that arrived by email, letter, card, telephone
& personal visit on a daily basis, was crucial in maintaining
Chris's spirit. I kept everyone informed with a monthly update on
her condition and our activities. In return, the responses we
received were heart-warming.
Secondly, I applied a simple business technique that also
applies to life. In business, to be successful, you must have
objectives & targets. The same applies to life. I took that
belief and applied it to our situation. I set targets &
objectives for us, and so did Chris for herself.
The objectives I set were based around holidays & friends. I
booked trips many months in advance, way beyond the dates the
doctors had given us. Chris had decided she was going to see her
next birthday - her 60th, she was going to have at least one more
Christmas, she was going to celebrate our 42nd wedding
anniversary.
These actions meant that Chris always had something to which she
could look forward, always had a reason to keep on keeping on even
if she was feeling really unwell. We went on a two week cruise
around the Canaries just four weeks before she died! Right to the
very end we were discussing where we would be going next.
Thanks to our friends and our objective setting Chris's last
year with us was a meaningful one, not one spent racked with pain
& depression over her cancer but one filled with light &
happiness right to the very end.
Trevor has written a book, Shelter From The Storm about how the
couple coped following Christine's diagnosis and how family and
friends supported them. Any profits from the book are being donated
to Pancreatic Cancer UK & Pancreatic Cancer Action. For more
information visit www.shelterfromthestorm.me.uk