Carole

Carole, 41 when diagnosed with operable adenocarcinoma

I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in November 2009 as a result of routine monitoring following a blocked bile duct earlier in the year. It was a massive shock to me and my family as I was asymptomatic and probably felt fitter and healthier than ever before.

I had a Whipple's procedure in December 2009 and received adjuvant chemotherapy from March to August 2010.

I did not read or research much before surgery, partly because of the lack of time but also as some of it can be quite scary so my husband and I decided to just deal with each situation as it happened. Over the past few months I have done more reading and find it comforting to know that what I have gone through and am experiencing is normal and that I can tick these stages and events off.

I have been through a range of emotions since surgery: I was excited by leaving intensive care and being able to mobilise quickly but felt hampered by drains and liquid feeds; surprised by how little I ate and the lack of weight gain initially; and generally frustration - believing I should be recovering quicker and wanting to do more than I was actually achieving.

I was in hospital for over five weeks and was angry that I could not be at work when there was a lot to do and guilty that others had to take on some of my work; I felt out of touch with what was going on and lost confidence in myself and my ability. On leaving hospital I returned to work as having that normal routine was important to me. A stressful job and my tiredness were not very compatible but luckily I was able to work part-time for the first few weeks, then back to full-time but over seven days so I could do a few hours each day. I was also able to work from home initially, gradually phasing in and building up my return to commuting and the working environment and ensuring this fitted in around chemotherapy and the days when I felt well. My colleagues have been very kind and supportive throughout my whole illness.

I found the chemotherapy and its side effects challenging and draining but realise others have it far worse. I am now six months post chemotherapy and the side effects from this have disappeared leaving me with more energy and the return to normality that I was seeking all along. My wounds have healed well and the scars not too obvious. I still get odd tummy aches and pains but nothing that stops me doing everything that I ever used to do. I think I am more emotional and definitely have trouble remembering things and concentrating but hope these improve with time.

I am quite determined and I think that this helps recovery. It is now easier to see the progress that I have made but at times I could not always see or believe it. When you have been through cancer diagnosis and treatment you emerge triumphant yet knackered.

For now there is no physical sign of cancer and I feel well and back to my old self. I hope I have defied the odds and beaten the disease. I will do what I can to help increase awareness, help professionals gain a greater understanding of the condition, improve poor survival rates and the quality of life for sufferers.

February 2011