Vicky & Janet

Mum was such a positive force. She was sharp and energetic, curious and driven. She gave everything in life her all. She was a passionate and dedicated science teacher and a fiercely loving Mum who did anything she could for me and my brother growing up. But it was in retirement where Mum really bloomed. She threw herself into numerous interests including learning Spanish, creating a beautiful garden and travelling the world with Dad. In running though she really found her happy place. She ran hundreds of races, including four marathons all after the age of 65. Thinking about it, mum really never stopped growing.

Everything was turned on its head

Mum and Dad were enjoying retired life when the diagnosis in Sept 2021 turned everything on its head. The sudden onset of jaundice triggered a set of scans which revealed a 2cm tumour on the head of Mum’s pancreas. I’d known very little about pancreatic cancer before Mum’s diagnosis but it didn’t take long to discover the general prognosis was grim.

We’ll never really know what caused it or how long the tumour had been hiding. It didn’t make any sense. Mum was healthy. She had so much energy and vitality. She ate nutritious food, didn’t drink much or smoke. And she was exceptionally active. In fact, it was her fitness levels that convinced doctors she would be a good candidate for treatment with the possibility of curative surgery if the tumour responded well.

Mum’s treatment regimen

In February 2022 Mum started six months of aggressive chemotherapy followed by a month of radiotherapy. Sadly however, the scan at the end of 2022 didn’t indicate enough of a reduction for surgery to be viable. Mum’s treatment path was therefore no longer curative. The aim instead was to give Mum quality of life for as long as possible by keeping the tumour stable.

And this did seem to be the case for most of 2023. Mum enjoyed a symptom free year going on holidays, seeing friends and family and staying active. A scan at the end of 2023 however showed the tumour was growing again and more chemo would be needed, starting immediately. This time however the side-effects from the initial rounds proved too brutal, causing painful neuropathy in her hands and feet. The medication was altered, which helped for a short time but treatment was then paused in April 2024 as blood tests indicated a potential issue in her liver. It took another few months without treatment for the liver indicators to settle before Mum was given the green light to restart chemo scheduled in late August 2024.

Mum’s health declined

Mum started to feel ill with heartburn the day I arrived in the UK on a planned visit from Australia, where I live. It was now late July 2024. We were due to go away on a family trip to Scotland a week later but the heartburn worsened throughout that week. She had a pre-chemo check-up scheduled the day before we were due to leave, but this turned into an immediate hospital admittance. An urgent scan indicated that the tumour was now growing very aggressively and had obstructed her bowel. Mum never made it back home after that appointment.

The doctors tried their best to relieve the blockage with a stent but the operation failed and Mum was left unable to process food. After two and a half weeks in hospital she was transferred to the hospice at her request where she stayed for another three and a half weeks.

Mum received incredible care at the hospice

She died on the 4th Sept 2024 with me, Dad and my brother by her side. I don’t know what we would have done without the incredible care provided by the hospice staff. It’s hard to find the words to express the immense difference they made. It was a reminder that true kindness really does exist in the world and that the most life-affirming moments can actually happen at the hardest of times.

We felt helpless

Dad and I had sat by Mum’s side for 42 days. It was crushing to watch her first grapple with her fate, then slip further away with each passing day. We felt completely helpless. It had been just short of three years since her diagnosis. Mum had beaten so many of the odds to make it that far. She’d had treatment, which so many sadly don’t get the chance of. She’d had a good, symptom free year where life went back to some degree of normality. And we’d had some time as a family to understand more about the disease. Yet in the end it was still such a shock. It was rapid, and cruel. And traumatic to witness. It had been just over six weeks since she’d been out for her last run. Mum still had so much left to do in life, and it felt like she’d been snatched away when we were off our guard.

Since Mum died, those 42 days have been on playback a lot. It’s been hard to make sense of the cruelty of it and what she must have felt during that time. But the good memories do keep pushing through. I know Mum led a love filled and full life and I’m determined to continue mine in her spirit.

I decided to raise funds for Pancreatic Cancer UK in August 2025 by taking on the TransRockies Run, a 120mile multi-stage endurance race through the Rocky Mountains. It was an unforgettable experience and the connection to Mum helped carry me all the way to the finish line.

September 2025