Joanne & Stewart
Stewart was a healthy, active man who decided he was going to run the London Marathon. However, after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer he wasn’t able to fulfill this dream.
When Pancreatic Cancer UK was announced as the Charity of the Year for 2025 his wife, Joanne, knew she had to run it in his memory. Joanne shares Stewart’s story and her decision to run on his behalf as a newly single parent of their two young girls.
My husband, Stewart
Stewart was a very healthy, fit man who became seriously immersed in marathon training at the start of 2021. We had no clue what was to come. Late March 2021 he had gotten himself a Japanese takeaway and he said he didn’t really enjoy it, which was odd as it was his favourite. About a week later he told me his urine was very dark, despite being well hydrated. A few days later he noticed his poo was pale. Something wasn’t quite right.
Trying to figure out what was wrong
There was some back-and-forth with various appointments for weeks trying to figure out what was wrong. Investigations showed there was a lesion on Stewart’s pancreas, but they weren’t 100% sure what it was. There came a turning point around mid-April – we woke up and I noticed Stewart was a bit yellow.
I insisted he went to A&E and that kick started everything. They admitted him and by the next morning I had a call from the consultant to say they thought it was pancreatic cancer. It was awful because I couldn’t be with him due to COVID restrictions. Stewart was in a specialist centre with amazing doctors, he was young and the most positive person you’ll ever meet. I knew if anyone was going to tackle it head on, it would be him.
The tumour itself wasn’t very big, but its position in relation to a main artery posed an issue. He would need chemo before surgery, with the team saying they would throw everything and the kitchen sink at him.
He was inspirational throughout treatment: still lifting weights, still going out for regular runs and gym sessions. Exercise was always such a positive outlet for him and continuing this helped him cope. He never wanted to just sit around feeling sorry for himself.
“Down with Doug”
Stewart and I have two little girls who were only four and seven at the time. Due to my work in the NHS they were quite familiar with hospitals and all things medical and we decided to have an open dialogue with them. We used the word cancer, we said their dad had a lump deep in his body which was making him unwell and would need strong medicine to help shrink it.
To make things less scary for them we named Stewart’s tumour – Doug! We even had t-shirts made with the hashtag “down with Doug.” It brought a little bit of levity to a very serious and scary situation for the kids. When Stewart went on to lose his hair our girls coloured in his bald head and drew in eyebrows. They were incredible.
Stewart with his family
He was in surgery for around 12 hours
Stewart ended up being sent for a few additional rounds of a different chemo before he could have surgery. I remember him telling his surgeon before his operation he was going to run the London Marathon in 2022 for Pancreatic Cancer UK. His determination was admirable. He was in surgery for around 12 hours and nine days later, on the 17th of December, Stewart was back home. We received his pathology results on Christmas Eve – near perfect results.
A new goal for 2022
I think Stewart realised quite quickly that he wouldn’t be running the marathon in 2022. He hadn’t grasped the enormity of the procedure and how long recovery would take. He wanted to do the marathon his way – he would have been aiming for a sub-four-hour time.
He decided to take pressure off the marathon and instead made going on a big family holiday his goal for 2022, deferring his place to 2023. Life had other plans though.
While we were away he started to experience some back pain. He had a scan when we got home and everything looked fine. However, the ache continued to bother him. We went to have his tumour markers checked again and discovered they had doubled in the space of a month.
The cancer had returned
A year to the day from his surgery we were sat in front of the surgeon again who told us that it looked as if Stewart’s cancer had come back. Chemotherapy was discussed but Stewart was aware of the toll it had taken on him previously. His team discussed options, given his recurrence seemed to be very localised and small, and radiotherapy in the form of SABR was offered.
Stewart had a course of this treatment, but at his follow up the markers hadn’t come down how they had hoped. This was when I thought ‘I don’t think this has worked.’
Following another scan the oncologist said the original recurrence was now much bigger, there were multiple lesions on his liver and a few spots on his lungs as well. Life shattered in that moment. We were told he could have more chemo or we could investigate clinical trials. Stewart initially wanted more chemo, but things deteriorated rapidly.
Heartbreaking conversations
We had some serious territory to traverse. I sat Stewart down for some very difficult conversations about things he did not want to face. I could see how frail and tired he was and that he was nearing the end of his life. Stewart decided he wanted to pass in our local hospice. I think he would have preferred to die at home, but he really didn’t want our girls to associate his death with their safe space of home.
Christmas was fast approaching and I was trying to drip-feed to the girls what was about to happen, whilst trying to preserve any normality I could for them. Christmas came and went in a bit of a haze, with Stewart very unwell and on January 9th, our youngest’s 7th birthday, he was admitted to the hospice.
It brings a little comfort that the night before, he had been playing backgammon with his brother, eating an ice lolly and having a laugh. That’s the memory the girls have of their dad at that time.
Wonderful support from the hospice
Stewart only ended up being in the hospice for five days. I can’t put into words how exceptional the staff there were. They were amazing. His symptom relief, comfort and the environment were so well managed. It ended up being a very peaceful transition, with me and his brother Craig by his side as he died, on the 14th of January 2024, aged 45.
Trying to make sense of it and find meaning
When you go through an experience like this I think you grasp to make some sense of it. I didn’t want to sit around feeling sorry for myself, that was not Stewart’s style, but you do question why. Why him? Why us? Throughout his cancer journey Stewart and I both knew something positive had to come from it. Stewart was desperate to run the marathon for himself, but also for others diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It was something on his bucket list he never got to tick off. I knew running the marathon in his memory would be something tangible that I could do for him.
My lightbulb moment
Finding out that Pancreatic Cancer UK was the London Marathon Charity of the Year for 2025 was a real lightbulb moment. I later found out a couple of Stewart’s friends had the same idea, so we became part of a team. None of us were runners, so it really goes to show the influence Stewart had and how much he inspired people.
He often told me with running you just have to push through the miserable bit where you really hate it to get to that magical part where you love it. The benefits it had on his physical and, more importantly, mental health were incredible and it really helped him cope with his cancer.
Concentrating on my “why”
In contrast to Stewart’s belief, I’m not convinced I ever got to the part where I loved running! A marathon would never have been on my to-do list, but it became about reframing my thinking and remembering why I was going to do the marathon.
Also reframing thinking to “I GET to do this” rather than it being something I had to do. Obviously, a huge part of the motivation was honouring Stewart’s memory, but it was also about helping Pancreatic Cancer UK raise money to ensure no family goes through what we have. Being part of the team was an incredibly special experience.
The charity was so supportive and made every one of us taking part feel so valued.
The biggest challenge for me was finding the time to train. I have a busy NHS job and being a single parent to two young girls, still very much in the acute stages of grief, I’m always needed somewhere in a practical or emotional sense. Ensuring I was always there for the girls whilst preparing for the marathon was tough, but thankfully I wasn’t in anyway focused on getting a particular time.
All I wanted to do was finish the event at the mall! Doing it to raise money for the charity, doing it for Stewart and doing it to inspire our girls were my motivators on cold, rainy days.
My marathon
Prior to the marathon the girls and I had the privilege of recording a TV piece for the BBC, which was incredibly emotional. It was so important to tell our story though and get the reality of pancreatic cancer out to a huge audience. My hope was it may inspire someone to check out their symptoms or to donate to Pancreatic Cancer UK and the work they’re doing.
On the way to the start line I was tapped on the shoulder by someone who had seen the piece on breakfast TV and said how much it affected them. A surreal moment. More surreal though was actually undertaking those 26.2 miles through London. It’s hard to put into words just what an incredible experience it was. The atmosphere and camaraderie were absolutely overwhelming in the best way. Everyone cheering, music, choirs, kids to high-five along every inch of the course.
The Pancreatic Cancer UK cheer points were extra special moments and every volunteer there made us feel like celebrities. It was so emotional to see my own little support team at the cheer points too and get much needed hugs from my girls and friends. It really was a life affirming day, and it showed the best of humanity.
I went round that course with Stewart in my heart and mind. Of course, it was bittersweet as he never got to experience it and I know how much he would have loved it, but I’m so glad I got to do it for him.
At the end of the event, as I collected my medal and met my little support team, my friend asked if I’d checked my fundraising page. As a result of the BBC piece airing I had received over £2000 in donations from complete strangers and a week or so later it was around £3000.
I still struggle to actually grasp that our story impacted people so much, but I am immensely grateful for their generosity and the beautiful messages sent to the girls and me.
Joanne's marathon
Knowing I’ve done something that was so important to Stewart, that could have such a profound impact on people’s lives is incredible
As part of Team Pancreatic Cancer UK I raised £11 000. The work the charity does to support those affected by this deadly and very underfunded cancer is so valuable. I’ve been fortunate to work alongside the charity for a few years now as a lived experience volunteer on various projects and I’ve seen how dynamic they are.
There is already hugely important work being done like the development of the early diagnostic breath test, the redesign of the website and services such as patient and carer support via Circles or being able to WhatsApp the specialist nurses.
As a charity Pancreatic Cancer UK really listens and reacts to those of us who have been on this journey. It feels like we are on the cusp of some great changes and of making more survivors, living with a better quality of life, a reality and that is something I’m proud to continue to play a part in.
It’s an absolute legacy Stewart leaves behind to tackle things head on, inspire others and show that good can come from bad. For our girls, who are going through a really tough time almost two years down the line, for all of those who loved and lost Stewart and for myself I’m determined to fulfill that legacy and hope to be involved with Pancreatic Cancer UK in whatever way I can help for a long time to come.
September 2025
