Finding out that someone you know has pancreatic cancer can be devastating. It can be scary and you may worry about what the future holds. You may feel like this for some time.
We are here for you, to offer support and practical information. We support family members, carers and anyone who might be affected by a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer.
You might feel like you need to put on a brave face and be positive for the person with cancer. In reality, caring for someone can be exhausting, stressful and can feel isolating.
Everyone is different, but some common experiences include:
It’s important that you take some time for yourself. It’s easy for your own needs to get pushed to the bottom of the list. Especially if you are juggling other things like looking after children or working. But research has found that if you take time to take care of yourself, you may find it easier to care for the person with cancer and to cope.
Speak to our specialist nurses on our free Support Line with any questions or worries, and to get support when you need it. If you don’t feel comfortable speaking on the phone you can also email them.
It is normal to feel sad, worried, angry or down if someone you care about has pancreatic cancer. But sometimes caring for someone with cancer can lead to anxiety and depression.
If you feel that you are struggling to cope, it might be worth speaking to your GP about what support you can get. And remember that you can contact our nurses on our Support Line at any time. They can talk and listen for as long as you need.
Some carers may also develop ‘burnout.’ Burnout is exhaustion from being physically and mentally stressed for a long time. Getting emotional and practical support can help with avoiding burnout.
“Even if you are surrounded by people, you’re still very much isolated from what’s normal”
If your loved one has advanced or inoperable cancer, you might experience anticipatory grief. This is where you start to grieve for the loss of the person you love before they die.
This is very difficult, but it is how many people react when someone they love has cancer.
The organisation Cruse have more information about getting help for anticipatory grief. You may be able to get pre-bereavement support for you and your family from your local hospice or organisations such as Maggie’s. Hospices are not just for end of life care. Many offer support for families before this stage. This can help you and your family prepare for loss and for what the future might hold.
Find out more about coping with grief and sources of support.
Taking time to look after yourself may help you better cope with caring for your family member.
How you do this will be different for everybody. These tips have come from other people caring for someone with pancreatic cancer.
“I only allowed myself to get emotional in the shower. I saw that as my place to break down.” Emma
“I needed to be there for her and I needed to be strong. So actually, listening to my body and resting was very important.” Debbie
“It was comforting to listen to others and their views and thoughts and emotions and how they feel.” Kika
“Online support was really helpful. Groups and forums helped me understand what others had gone through and gave me a sense I wasn’t alone.”
Our short leaflet has key facts and tips to help you deal with the emotional impact of caring for someone with pancreatic cancer, and get support. You can download it here, or order a printed copy.
Email us at publications@pancreaticcancer.org.uk for a list of sources used to write this information.
We would like to thank the following people who reviewed our information on emotional support for families.
Updated August 2022
Review date August 2024