Dealing with the emotional impact of pancreatic cancer

Common feelings

Having a pancreatic cancer diagnosis can turn your life upside down. You may ask “why is this happening to me?” You may feel very alone. But there is support to help you and your family and friends.

If you are worrying about anything like your treatment options, symptoms or what happens next, our nurses can help. Whether you have a long list of questions or don’t know where to start, they will provide practical, honest information to help you make the right choices for you. You can also just talk about how you are really feeling.

Everyone is different, but you may go through:

• shock
• fear
• distress
• sadness
• anger
• loneliness
• denial
• relief that you finally know what is wrong, if it has taken a long time to get a diagnosis.

Your daily life, relationships and your overall outlook on life might change. And your feelings may change over time.

Effects on relationships

Worries about talking about it

Talking about cancer with a family member, partner, or friend can be difficult. You may worry about how they will feel. There will be times when one or both of you is feeling upset or stressed and communication may be more difficult. It can help to get support if this is happening. Or you may not want to talk about the cancer at all. This is a natural reaction and may be a way of coping with it.

If you do want to talk, make time and space for conversations. This creates chances to talk about how you and the other person are feeling.

Try to have open conversations about what support you need from those around you. This can help to avoid confusion or disagreements. It can also help you make plans.

You can speak to our specialist nurses on the Support Line for tips and support to talk to your loved ones.

Talking to children and teenagers

If you have young children or teenagers in the family, you may worry about how to talk to them and how much you should tell them. For most children and teenagers, it’s best to be honest and explain what’s going on. We have more information and a list of organisations that can help on our Support for children page.

Intimate relationships

Pancreatic cancer can affect your physical relationship with a partner. This is common for people dealing with cancer. Changes in physical intimacy can have an impact emotionally, too. Try to discuss things openly with them. You may find you are experiencing similar emotions to your partner.

You can try different ways of spending time together, or of having a physical connection. Don’t be afraid to ask your medical team about it if you have any questions. Macmillan Cancer Support has more information on how to get support if this is affecting you.

Anxiety and depression

People with pancreatic cancer may be more likely to have anxiety or depression. Getting the right support can help you cope if you are struggling with your mental health. Find out more about the symptoms of anxiety and depression and how to get support.

It’s important to remember that feeling low or down is normal, and not always a sign of depression.

Feelings if you are having or have had treatment to control the cancer

If you are having or have had treatment such as surgery or chemotherapy, you may feel hopeful that it will have positive results. But some people also feel anxious or scared before and during treatment, especially when they are waiting for the results of tests and scans.

It can be very hard living with uncertainty about how well treatment has worked. Some people worry about the cancer coming back or spreading.

It can also be hard when treatment finishes. If you had surgery to remove the cancer, other people may expect you to feel happy once treatment finishes. But you might be coming to terms with what you have been through. It can be hard to go back to “normal life.” Especially if you are still recovering physically and emotionally. For example, you may feel differently about how your body looks and feels.

These strong emotions can be overwhelming. Try to be kind to yourself. Give yourself permission to feel down, upset, or angry. Not every day is going to be a good day and that’s ok.

Feelings if you can’t have treatment to control the cancer

For some people with advanced pancreatic cancer, it may not be possible to have treatment to control the cancer.

If you can’t have treatment, your GP, community nurses or district nurses will care for you and provide support to help with your symptoms. Read more about your options if you can’t have treatment.

Being told that you can’t have any treatment to control your cancer can be a shock for you and those close to you. You may feel sad or have feelings of loss, grief and anger.

Conversations about end of life care can be difficult. You may not feel like you can talk to people around you about dying. We have more information on end of life care and you can speak to our specialist nurses on our confidential Support Line. Speaking to someone who is not emotionally involved can sometimes make it a little easier to talk about these difficult topics. You could speak to your GP about getting a referral to your local hospice, as they may be able to support you. Hospice care is not just for people at the end of their life.

Published January 2025

To be reviewed January 2028